Understanding

This mindset is not about ignoring people’s “silly problems”. Understanding people does not mean caring about their silly problems. It’s understanding why they have silly problems, and why you see them as silly and they do not. Don’t perceive them as silly problems, find out what you’re missing and understanding why they think they way they think and relate to them.

Your girlfriend has problems because she’s stuck in her world, and you see them as silly problems because you’re stuck in your world. Cognitive empathy can create a bridge of communication that would not only solve the problems but would improve the relationship.

Don't just grow beyond the problems, but above them so that you can gain even more perspective.

Don't let problems and negative situations drag you down. Those situations feel negative because you have a lack of understanding. Use the opportunity to examine the situation and learn from it to improve your understanding. Struggle is a crucial ingredient for growth.

When working through a problem, remember that you have built in biases that you need to be aware of. You should always be skeptical of your own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.

Example: when trying to figure out why someone does what they do, don't project yourself on them. Remember to be outside your head. Even the most illogical behavior is logical when you take time to understand it. Everything someone thinks, says, does, believes, is there for a logical reason.

Understanding the logical reason behind everything is the key that will unlock unlimited growth.

Being experience driven and emotional, you become very inconsistent.

All our drives are emotional, but if you can channel your emotions into a desire to understand, you become consistent. You automatically generate confidence, masculine energy, and charisma.

Rather than relying on role models to get inspiration and knowledge from, you can get that from yourself. You can be your own role model.

This works in social situations too. If you're trying to get acceptance from the group or from a girl, and you base your confidence and masculinity on that, you will come across as dependent and needy. But if you get your masculinity and confidence from your own understanding, you come across as more desirable, even though you don't care as much about how you come across.

If you base your masculinity on getting or having a girl, you have lost control, you start doubting yourself and you become more feminine. Then you try submitting to the girl and that's the last thing she wants.

If you get your confidence and masculinity from yourself, a girl and good friends will come naturally.

People have a fear of failure but it’s not the failure itself but the **fear** of it.

If you submit yourself to understanding, you become more confident because you don’t depend on anything to fulfill your goal. You aren’t needy. You have confidence in knowing that no matter what the outcome is, you will take it as a chance to upgrade and progress your understanding. No emotional attachment to the outcome.

Result oriented vs outcome dependent.

Become your own independent source of confidence and masculinity.